Nerd Network unveils new NerdStar 1 satellite service
Nerd Network announced today that it will begin offering live cable
television coverage of Great Lakes shipping through its new NerdStar 1
1 enables us to automatically monitor all boats on the Great Lakes for
real-time tracking of their movements and live broadcast of their every
action," said Lance Boyle, director of sophistry for BNN. "Our
viewers will be thrilled to watch every minute of their favorite vessel
sailing the lakes, sitting at anchor or unloading cargo."
officials recently purchased NerdStar 1 from the Russian space program for
$137. Pentagon officials have expressed concern about the deal because the
satellite previously was part of Russia's Surveillance and Orbital
Bombardment System (SOBS) and is equipped to fire atomic weapons at
targets anywhere in North America.
officials played down the Pentagon's concerns. "The Russians gave us
the launch codes but we've promised not to use them. In fact, I've already
lost them," Boyle said. "Besides, atomic weapons in the hands of
the entertainment industry are nothing to worry about. We're very
its inception two years ago, BNN has become one of the most popular of
cable television's so-called niche networks. Promising "all boats all
the time," the network now has nearly 20,000 subscribers throughout
North America and more than 500,000 subscribers in Japan, where it has
become a cult favorite.
revolutionized cable television, and NerdStar 1 will enable us to remain
on the industry's cutting edge," Boyle said.
conjunction with the unveiling of its new satellite, BNN announced
additions to its program lineup. New programs scheduled to air this summer
24/7" -- Deckhands from various freighters will wear a live
camera with audio feed around the clock. Viewers will be able to tune
in any time of day or night to watch the week's featured deckhands
opening hatches, painting, watching television or sleeping. BNN
executives expect viewers to flock to this program to learn more about
life on the lakes and to expand their vocabularies.
Watch with Zoltan Buggerall" -- One of BNN's growing stable of
celebrity hosts, Zoltan Buggerall will randomly call sailors on their
cell phones throughout the night to ask them questions about their
jobs. Using a breezy style that's been called "the perfect blend
of Mike Douglas and Howard Stern," Buggerall's program is
expected to be the season's break-out hit.
Steward" -- North America's answer to Japan's cult hit "Iron
Chef!" Stewards from various lakers will be chosen to compete
against the top stewards on the lakes, known as the Iron Stewards. The
Iron Stewards are known only by their mysterious stage names: Iron
Steward Interlake, Iron Steward Lower Lakes, Iron Steward Oglebay
Norton and Iron Steward GLF.
In each contest, the challenger and the Iron Steward will face off in
"Galley Stadium" with just one hour to prepare their best
dishes using only the groceries deposited on deck at the Soo and
keeping within their meal allowance of $2.47 per crew member. At the
end of the hour, a panel of judges will sample the dishes,
double-check the galley budget and declare a winner.
(Also available dubbed in Japanese.)
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